6 Questions to Tackle the Gap between What We Plan and What We Actually Do

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Planning vs. Doing

We all make plans for what we hope to do today, or this weekend, or even this month. Think about how we plan for a new year, a new job, or a new course of studies. Right, those sorts of plans . . . 

Yet think for a moment . . . how often do we not complete all those things we plan because something else comes up? How often do we not finish any of those things we plan? How does that statement go, something about the road to hell is paved with good intentions?

What’s wrong with us? 

Perhaps that may not be the best question here, I mean, let’s not spiral into a dark place of self-blame, as that does't help us in any way. Instead, let’s try to make sense of what is actually going on and see if perhaps a reframing of this gap between planning and doing may offer us some insights. 

Personal Goal Formula

When we write out what we are planning to do, we usually start with those things that are most important for us. I want this for myself, to become like that, or to achieve another thing. It doesn’t matter if this is a short-term or long-term plan (such as for today or this year) — we often come up with such an idealized list that we sabotage our efforts from the very beginning. I mean, how many priorities can we really have at once?!

Let’s step back for a moment and review what a goal really is. A goal is something specific we want to accomplish by a certain time or under a specific condition. Think if it this way, when we set goals, we follow a specific formula— I want to accomplish this goal by this time to this degree. 

When we set goals, we follow a specific formula — I want to accomplish this goal by this time to this degree.

For example, if I want to finish my coursework for professional certification, I may state it as: I will finish my coursework by the end of the first quarter and be ready to submit it. It can also be shorter, i.e., by the end of today (meaning before I go to sleep), I will have written in my journal for 30 minutes. 

Both of these examples are specific and measurable, yet for them to be doable they must also be goals I want to accomplish!

We all know that plans are only that . . . what we intend to do . . . yet the realities of life sometimes get in the way. Given this, how often do you find this life getting in the way and the goals remaining undone?

Regardless of whether whatever comes up is more important than what we initially planned, that unplanned time-suck did take us away from moving intentionally toward our goals. These goals, after all, are really why we plan, even if they are micro-term goals for today alone.

The challenge is, of course, that planning goals are not the same things achieving them.

The Gap between Planning and Doing

Rather than focus only on the planning process itself (e.g., did I schedule enough time? did I limit interruptions? did I set a timer?), I think there is value in exploring something else in this equation that often remains unacknowledged. Namely, how often is there a sizable gap between what you plan and what you actually do instead?

This raises a really interesting question that I find many who I work with in my coaching or consulting efforts do not ask themselves when they consistently miss achieving the goals they set for themselves — what do I make of this gap between what I planned and what I actually did?

There is value in exploring and understanding the gap between planning and doing. What’s going on here in this unspoken place between my intentions and my direct actions?

Let’s take a for example. Perhaps I planned to study from 8:00–9:00, yet I ended up spending the time reading through social media while also texting a friend. Short answer? Focus on studying and talk to friends later. 

But what happens when this becomes a recurring occurrence when what we plan does not match what we actually do to achieve it? It may be overly simplistic to write this off as a recurring waste of time when something really important remains needed. 

Let’s instead try a more holistic view to provide us with the possibility of some useful insights into our thoughts, commitments, planning, and overall balanced approach to our lives — or the lack of any of these. This gap between our plans and our actions may reveal more about our unmet needs, and as a result, may point to a lack of personal balance. 

Questions to Understand the Plan-vs-Do Gap

First off, there are no simple ways to absolutely understand exactly why we act in the ways we do in real-time . . . magic bullets do not exist, and even if they did, they would not be one size fits all circumstances or goals! 

It can, however, be useful to try to understand what we actually did instead, and that may provide some helpful insights into this gap, into our initial plans, and even our intended goals themselves. It can even help us identify areas where our goals were unrealistic or impossible, and as a result, we experienced a form of planned imbalance. 

Here are six questions to help us explore the gap between what we planned and what we actually did:

1. Is what you actually did really more important than what you planned? Perhaps you overlooked something you really needed to accomplish when you created your ideal goal or did not provide yourself a short-term or immediate reward for your efforts?
2. Was there something that distracted you from doing what you intended? If so, what actions can you take to avoid this in the future?
3. Do you notice some pattern in these distractions, perhaps something that will allow you to consider specific changes to make in order to avoid them in the future? Perhaps physically removing the cause of the distraction?
4. Did you struggle to transition between tasks, and thus you had not fully shifted your mind, body, emotions, or soul to the next thing you wanted to accomplish? What sort of breaks or separation activities be can be used next time?
5. Were your initial plans realistic, or were they so ideal that they were unrealistic and impossible to accomplish? If so, how can more moderate planning be made?
6. Were you intentional in what you planned, and did it promote balance in your life? If not, what can you do for a more balanced self, one that accounts for both work and play?

Whatever you come up with, it is really important NOT to judge yourself. This exercise is not to judge or punish ourselves, as causing ourselves to feel bad about how we spent our time generally does not help us move toward our goals. Blame is never a motivator when it comes to achieving our plans in a positive and successful manner.

The more we can understand what we did instead of what we planned, the more it may provide insights into why we did it . . . and that can help us make more informed decisions for what we plan to do in the future. This is an important step in taking control of our time, and as this is likely something that has never been taught, it is also something that so many of us therefore struggle with. 

It is never too late to try this, especially when we set ourselves out to celebrate the holidays and plan for the New Year! These are the same processes I am using to set out my own New Year intentions, so stay tuned to see how I do with them!

Please share if you find these questions helpful, and likewise if there are other ones that also hope you to make sense of your own gap between what you plan and what you actually do. 

Remember, balance in all things. 

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