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Dr Mehmet Yildiz

Silencing The Inner Critic For Joy And Success

2021-02-19

Our inner critic is undoubtedly one of the strongest showstoppers of our joy and success. We all have this critical voice and experience its side effects. There are proven methods to deal with this reality. I provide a high-level overview of this human condition and offer practical and effective ways to deal with it based on my experience.

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Photo by Arun Sharma on Unsplash

Until we understand our inner critic's nature and find effective ways to silence it, we may compromise our serenity, joy and success in life.

Our inner critical voice can make a dramatic appearance in the weakest times. It is so powerful that it can blind us and confuse us.

It reflects the culmination of entangled voices of our past traumas and sufferings residing in suppressed memories. Our inner critical voice may bring reminisces from the earliest childhood years and amplify the current destructive feelings.

All of us have these voices. They relentlessly keep haunting us.

The survival part of the brain creates anxiety and worry by design and as default. These constant worries keep happening even without any apparent reasons. They hijack our energy and mental resources.

Our inner critic can have both child and adult voices, all mixed up, sounding confused, and manifested as destructive emotions.

The tendency of the critical inner voice is a search for safety.

The inner voice carries the protective message of not wanting to relive painful memories. Our inner child does not want to experience traumatic events that we had in our childhood. All it wants is to protect us from harm. But it serves its purpose naively.

The inner critic is afraid of criticism in any form.

Even though it rebukes us, ironically, it cannot even handle a piece of simple constructive criticism.

The inner critic resides in the emotional brain. It is biased for negativity. It attempts to influence the thinking brain, confuses it with obscure sensations, and keeps triggering negative notifications.

Our thinking brain cannot cope with this dramatic noise and sometimes gets exhausted and gives up. The inner critic can make even a stronger voice at stressful times.

This is an inevitable human reality.

Nothing is new here so far. We all have an inner critic fed by our ego. We see it in real life and creative work like in fiction and movies.

Inner voices are natural, and they serve a purpose. It is survival.

There is no genetic code for thriving to overwrite these harsh voices in the emotional part of the brain. We need to recognize this and use our cognitive brain. Unless we use this thinking part purposefully, we cannot cope with the unintentional harm of inner critic and cannot thrive.

The inner critic will not let us live a heroic life. The term “valiant” is foreign to the inner critic's vocabulary.

It keeps telling us we are useless and to give up trying. The inner critic's narrative is we are not capable of doing a mammoth task because it exaggerates everything. It tries to save us energy for survival.

Even the most successful people experience the discouraging voices of inner critics. These successful people create amazing things and impress many people. But, despite all, their inner critic cannot accept their success. It manufactures faults.

In psychology, there is a term to define this aspect of the inner critic. It is called imposter syndrome.

This syndrome is widespread. It is our internal experience generated by a false belief. We believe that we are not productive, competent, and experienced as others perceive us.

So what can we do to deal with this inner critic and imposter syndrome?

First of all, we need to be aware of this voice and listen to it carefully.

Rejecting and suppressing this voice can be counterproductive.

The next critical point is accepting this as a human condition. We are not alone. Everyone has an inner critic. Our brains are hardcoded for this voice.

These two essential points solve half the problem. Awareness and acceptance of the inner critic give us some space to operate.

The next critical point is tackling each piece of voice logically and gently.

Whenever we hear this voice, we can say, here we go. My inner voice talks to me. What is it up now? What is it really trying to say? Repeating the message of this voice can help us understand what it is trying to say.

Then we can ask a simple question. Is this true?

We may come up with yes, no, or maybe answers.

The next basic questions should follow this.

What is the evidence?

How do you know this is true?

Most of the time, at this stage, the inner critic has a shock. It gets stuck and starts mumbling.

Those mumblings are the lies we keep telling ourselves.

These lies stop us from realizing our potential and achieving our dreams.

By these two simple techniques, we achieve an 80% success rate with dealing with the inner voice.

Now the easy part comes.

Leveraging the first and second techniques, we need to turn them into habits.

Each time a self-criticizing thought, feeling, or emotion rises, we catch them. We listen, make sense of the message, and challenge it.

Once it turns into a habit, dealing with the inner voice can be easier and more comfortable.

Successful people, despite the existence of the inner critic, thrive because they deal with it effectively. They never eject or suppress the voice, but they listen, understand, and challenge it.

When the inner voice is regularly listened to, understood, and challenged, something magical happens. The frequency and intensity of the inner voice are reduced. We have space to think. Serenity takes place.

When the inner critic is silenced naturally, gently, and with compassion, our positive energies like joy, optimism, and excitement start flourishing.

Joyful, optimistic, and excited people can get more creative, more productive, and more successful.

I have simplified the process as much as possible to give the big picture.

It is a very complex topic and spans many disciplines like psychology, physiology, sociology, mental health, and even anthropology.

For severe and chronic conditions, we always need professional advice. However, healthy and fit people with a strong inner critic can use these simple techniques and start enjoying their lives.

I used these simple yet effective techniques for several decades. I still have my inner critic talking to me every day. It is impossible to eradicate it, but I recognize it and acknowledge the voice as I converse with my children or good friends. By trial and error, I learned to have a friendly and compassionate chat with my inner critic. Since we became friends, it has never overwhelmed me and has not become a showstopper for my joy and success.

Thank you for reading my perspectives.

Reference: Simple & Powerful Life-Transforming Bio-Hacks

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