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Dr Mehmet Yildiz

How To Be A Socially Intelligent Person

2021-02-11

Social intelligence is a vital skill to survive in society and enjoy our lives. As social creatures, our limbic system (emotional brain) is active and strives for connections. How many of us enjoy loneliness and isolation?

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Not only at personal and family life, but social intelligence is also crucial for our professional life. To be successful at work, we need to understand social norms in the workplace and adapt ourselves to various situations. Whatever our roles are whether a team leader, manager or a team member, we need to display social intelligence in the workplace.

Our relationships require a capability for connecting with others. There are two critical success factors for connecting with others: social and emotional intelligence.

Social and emotional intelligence go hand in hand. Knowing about oneself and being aware of other people's dynamics is the concern of both emotional and social intelligence.

Interacting with people and feeling comfortable with different personalities are core requirements of social intelligence. Those managers and team leaders who attract us at work are usually socially and emotionally intelligent people.

We recognize them easily. They depict the gift of the gap. They participate in social situations and enable other people to engage with others socially in the workplace. They help people mingle with joy.

Some necessary social skills are:

  • listening to others authentically,
  • being emphatic,
  • being compassionate,
  • being polite,
  • responding genuinely,
  • enriching conversations,
  • sharing thoughts openly with no fear, and
  • influencing others to realise their goals.

Socially intelligent people bring others together. They help them have fun. They find ways to engage people by organizing events to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, recognition, and achievements. Socially competent managers encourage team members to share fun times and have pleasant conversations on the team's points of interests.

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We usually get a social face to face, but there are also other means to practice our social skills. Chatting on the phone and social media in discussion forums is excellent opportunities to practise our social skills.

Using online forums require social intelligence to take benefit of communication and shared goals. We may face some ethical and moral dilemmas involved in social situations in online forums. As it is in face-to-face social cases, politeness and courtesy are vital principles to survive and thrive in social media.

Social intelligence relates to societal topics. For example, cultural diversity, inclusiveness, and privacy are some critical concerns in society. We know that things can be quickly taken out of context with some careless remarks made with a rush and cause dilemmas to the social groups involved.

Socially intelligent people are aware of the consequences of a careless act in face-to-face group discussions, conference calls, and social media. These types of people become a role model by providing clear, precise, and neutral communications at all times and show respect to others point of views and privacy.

In day-to-day interactions, socially intelligent people are quite recognisable. People enjoy friendly approach posed by these excellent leaders. They are also outgoing yet courteous, tactful and diplomatic in their approach. These traits make them charismatic in social situations.

Apart from following social rules like common courtesy, respect to privacy, and inclusiveness, socially intelligent people reflect charisma.

Charisma may sound mysteries, but it has recognizable ingredients. To be charismatic, we need to understand the emotions of others and align them with our feelings. We need to respond appropriately and mindfully to make the actual difference in creating a charismatic outlook.

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Two critical components of emotional intelligence can contribute to our social intelligence and lead toward charismatic personality. They are empathy and compassion.

We love some famous pop singers, movie stars, and politicians. Most of these professionals have massive followers and fans. Some fans religiously follow the advice of charismatic people and not even question the truth.

Charisma revolves around emotions rather than logic.

Knowing this fact, in my opinion, anyone with social intelligence can be charismatic. Charisma is a skill, not a genetic or inherited characteristic from ancestors. We all can learn charismatic traits.

Improving our emotional and social intelligence can be an excellent investment in gaining visibility, acceptance, and recognition from others.

Social and emotional intelligence are essential factors in building exciting relationships. Therefore, it is valuable to improve these skills. We can learn these skills to create charm in our personal and professional relationships.

The easiest way to learn these skills is to understand the patterns, then model and emulate them. Rather than looking at the charisma as one item, we can deconstruct the components and apply each element to our lives.

As an individual, a family member, a colleague, and a community member, our emotional and social intelligence can open many doors to new and exciting relationships.

Every relationship may put us to a vulnerable state. There will always be a risk of exploitation. However, tolerating vulnerability and opening our heart to others are vital skills to improve our emotional and social intelligence.

Thank you for reading my perspectives.

If you enjoy this article, you might also check my other self-improvement and leadership articles published on News Break.

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