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Dr Mehmet Yildiz
Charisma Is Not As Mysteries As It Sounds
2021-01-30
Charisma may sound mysteries to people, but there are common patterns that everyone can learn to become charismatic. It is not exclusive to celebrities. Leaning this skill can improve your relationships.
During my leadership studies, I learned a lot about charisma. Psychology and leadership researchers frequently mention this term in the literature. Later, I used the learned traits in my personal and professional life. I noticed anyone could be charismatic. It is not exclusive to celebrities.
Working with charismatic leaders and observing their behaviour established my understanding of charisma.
The first secret I learned was the focus of charismatic leaders on their followers. Charismatic leaders pay attention to others rather than themselves.
One notable observation was about how leaders make their followers feel. Charismatic leaders can make their followers special. Even though few can admit, everyone wants to feel special. And anyone can make us feel special can be attractive in our eyes.
You may ask what I mean by charisma exactly.
We can define charisma as compelling attractiveness to inspire devotion in others. We are attracted to charismatic people sometimes with no apparent reasons. But, in reality, there are specific reasons that some of us may not notice in the process.
Sometimes small things in life can generate attractiveness. Attraction can lead to charisma. I mean by little things is like a genuine smile, a simple handshake, calling people with their names, and correctly pronouncing the name of a person from an ethnic background.
Communication plays an important role in creating charisma. Charismatic people are effective communicators. We like listening to them and follow their conversations with passion. Followers rarely question charismatic leaders' credibility as people are mesmerised by their gentle attitudes, engaging conversations, and other pleasant virtues.
There are many attributes of charm in general, but the most noticeable ones are leadership attributes like modesty, clear vision, and persuasion. These traits can have a tremendous impact on creating charisma.
Even though charisma is usually perceived as a personal attribute, we can learn some aspects of it by understanding leaders' critical attributes.
From my studies, I found three significant contributors to charisma. They are:
Emotional intelligence,
Social intelligence, and
Mindfulness.
There are, of course, many other attributes of charisma, but these are the most impactful ones.
Emotionally and socially intelligent people are halfway through demonstrating charisma. Applying these intelligence types with mindfulness can cover the next 50%.
What I present so far is a simplified and 30 thousand feet view of charisma. Devil is in the details.
Emotional intelligence is an enormous topic spanning across many domains and disciplines. To be emotionally intelligent, one understands his or her own emotions and others' emotions.
We need to understand the emotions of others and align them with our feelings. We also need to respond appropriately to make the actual difference in creating a charismatic outlook.
Empathy and compassion are two critical components of emotional intelligence. The most noticeable traits that I observed in emotionally intelligent leaders depicting charismatic behaviour were empathy and compassion.
I mentioned only leaders, but anyone can be charismatic. I used leaders because their characteristics helped me understand the concept of charisma systematically.
We love famous movie stars, singers, and even politicians. These people can have a massive fan base. They are followed in social media by a large group of people. Some fans religiously follow their advice and never question.
Devoted following is an apparent outlook as charisma revolves around emotions rather than logic.
How about other people who are not celebrities, not popular, and not public figures? Can they pose charismatic behaviour?
In my opinion, anyone can be charismatic as long as they crack the code. Yes, there is a code and it can be scientifically exposed. In other words, charisma is a skill, not a genetic or inherited characteristic. We all can learn those traits manifesting as charisma.
Charisma is an essential factor in building exciting relationships. Therefore, it is a valuable trait to pursue. We can learn the skills to create charm in our personal and professional relationships.
The easiest way to learn these skills is to understand the patterns, model, and emulate them. Rather than looking at the charisma as one item, we can deconstruct the components and apply each component to our lives.
There is a typical saying "fake it until you make it". This quote is partially accurate, in my opinion. Yes, practice is essential to make it, but the problem is with the fake part. Charisma requires authenticity. Just copying the behaviour of a celebrity would not realistically work for everyone.
We are all unique. The key is learning about the charismatic behaviours and applying them to suit our character, lifestyle, and environment. Customising what we learn is essential for authenticity.
Let me leave you with one point that can help you become charismatic in your relationship instantly. Next time when you meet a partner, a friend, a colleague, or your children just genuinely listen to what they are saying. Listening with empathy and non-judgement is one of the most contributing factors to boost charisma.
And as a bonus, remember to smile genuinely and naturally as much as possible.
Thank you for reading my perspectives.
If you enjoy this article, you might also check my other leadership articles published on News Break.
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