Thoughts and Prayers Do matter— Here’s Why

Action begins here.

Image by Couleur from Pixabay

I do not mean to belittle your pain.

As a Christian, I have offered my thoughts and prayers often when a situation calls for it. I have also seen hateful backlash from the hurting or from anti-Christian-rhetoric individuals who do not appreciate the imposition of faith.

And this reaction is one HUNDRED percent understandable.

It seems like so little in the face of your pain. It seems like a dismissal or a mildly flippant phrase that does nothing — when you need someone to do something. You may be an atheist or practice a religion that does not use the phrase “prayer” or recognize a deity. This is ok too — you have every right to cling to your own belief systems in times of trial — as we Christians do.

We should all cling to the faith, the love, the strength, the courage — the whatever — that helps us to get through difficult times.

So, when I offer you my thoughts and prayers, know this: action begins here.

Sending someone well-wishes is the beginning. It is an offering of empathy. It is saying “I see you. I see your hurt. You matter.” In a world desperately lacking in empathy, I think we should share these sentiments freely and abundantly.

Here is a Tweet that I sent out some time ago:

Note: Not one person liked or shared it. Good vibes are harder for people to celebrate on social media — we should change this — an article for another day.

Prayers are a conversation, a meditation, an offering of hope and positive energy about your situation — on your behalf. Prayers lift hope. It inspires people to act — people that want to be there and lift you in your time of need. Prayer motivates people to move. Prayers are a backbone in times of need.

A Phrase Condemned for Being Insufficient

This phrase “thoughts and prayers” is currently under fire because of the regularity with which it is used and the dilution of its meaning as our country faces hardship after hardship. People have become so numb to the violence and angry and the hopeless.

Well-meaning people offer condolences — understandably — and receive a backlash of pain, anger, rejection. Completely understandable. Victims are hurting. Their shock will speak words they won’t even remember.

3 Dead and Multiple Injured in San Diego Accident at the Bridge

Consider what happened when a 71-year old driver, as reported by San Diego news sources, mowed down multiple pedestrians with his car, killing some and injuring others. The driver of the vehicle is now in custody and a debate over homelessness is now at the forefront. How best to meet the needs of these people who found themselves victim to a sidewalk vehicular slaughter? How to protect those who are more vulnerable to victimizations of many kinds? What about that driver—was there a medical need or was this an angry event? Is there a mental health issue that wasn’t addressed for the driver or for the folks who may have been mowed over as they slept?

The point here is, that there are many sides of a terrible news story. And to care about a situation, you can see the pain from many angles. You have the perpetrator—who’s done a terrible thing, is scared or not thinking clearly. They may be guilty of a crime, but they still have rights and are still a human in need. There are people who specialize in inmate services, mental and physical healthcare, and the legal aspects that come into play when a crime has been committed.

Then you have victim advocates, health care professionals, legal representatives, hurting family members (etc) of the victims, all of whom have a role to play or are overwhelmed at the shock and emotion of the situation.

As humans, we care, but we also get angry when a wrong has been committed. As we process our own emotion about what we have seen or heard in this world of one terrible news story after another—it spills over in thoughts and prayers.

People Play the Role that They Are Able in Times of Crisis

When any news event occurs like the one at San Diego City College Bridge, people step into their Police uniforms or their clergy robe—whichever role they have the experience to serve best within their community.

Sometimes, there are folks like you and I. We don’t have a uniform. Perhaps our wallets are insufficient to solve the whole problem; but we can empathize. We can send our condolences when someone has lost a loved one. We can reach out and up with our thoughts and our prayers—because it is what we have to offer. Not to offend or disappoint anyone, but to show that we care.

Politicians and activists shout that “thoughts and prayers” are not enough. True. It is not enough. But it is where action begins for a lot of people. It begins with empathy. And for the love of God, all things holy, and everything in between — we need more empathy.

“I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God. It changes me.”― C.S. Lewis

Back when Hurricane Dorian ravaged the Bahamas, I watched coverage of the hurricane and then of tornadoes forming and bearing down on the coast of the Carolinas. Hearing the stories of those that swam down their street to safety, or held onto a loved one that slipped away into the surge waters — waiting for the Hurricane to make landfall only a few hundred miles away from me — I felt intense thoughts and lifted intense prayers.

I wanted to fling my thoughts and prayers at every single story. To every single person. I cried along with the shocked faces being interviewed, standing in the water where their living room used to be. I cried for the man whose son was swept from their roof — away. Away. He was too stunned to cry.

I cried for the man who watched his wife drown. His sunken eyes will long haunt my mind. He also was too stunned, too traumatized to cry.

While these people waited for aid and waited for rescue, and while the Carolinas braced their backbones, shuttered their windows, and fled, I reached out on my social media, asking for a flood of thoughts and prayers.

The thoughts and prayers, then, the beginning of a wave of aid, humanitarian efforts, empathetic care…for humans to be the best humans they can be. For the folks in San Diego writing their words of emotion, of care, of loss and in memory on the walls of that bridge where people died, they are processing their emotion from this traumatic event.

And my thoughts and prayers are with all of them. Especially the families of the victims. Perhaps I am simply too much of an optimist, but I believe sending as much positive energy and empathy as you can, helps in some way. Maybe one hurting person in a painful situation feels less alone. And if that's the case, I'll keep empathizing with my thoughts and my prayers. Sometimes it is all I can do.

#empathymatters
#kindnessmatters

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