We’ve all had that call — we are sorry to inform you that we have chosen to “go another way,” “selected another candidate,” “don’t really think you would be a good fit.”
What is wrong with me? It is the understandable reaction when rejection comes knocking but it does not have to define you.
We all face rejection. It isn’t personal. It doesn’t pick on you.
How we handle our disappointments in life does define us.
Successful people apply themselves differently when faced with rejection. They use it as a fresh start, an encouragement, a “one less rejection on the way to a yes.” This attitude is crucial if you wish to move forward with your self-esteem in tact.
I have taught my children what I feel to be a core truth in life: “You may not be able to change a circumstance but you can change how you react to it.”
Another similarly related truth: “Don’t focus on what you can’t do — focus instead on what you can do.”
Opportunity may not come in the way we hope — but there is still opportunity there.
Recently a close friend of mine lost his job. It was devastating to his confidence. For nearly twenty years he has worked to crawl out of blue collar jobs and into a career and was finally well on his way to make this happen — until the company he was working for (and loved) suddenly closed its door.
He spent nearly 6 weeks interviewing for a job he wanted while he took an “in the meantime” job to make ends meet. With each level of interviewing the stakes got higher until the final interview involved the Human Resources director, the Vice President of the local branch, and the field Manager he’d be working under. These interviews were stressful but he had hope…
Hope for that white collar career he’d been trying to get into for so long.
No word was coming. No call. The wait was excruciating. The “in the meantime” job began and still we waited. It is truly hard to be mentally invested when you are holding out hope for that “something better” that you just know is coming…until the call finally comes and it is a no.
He is sorely disappointed. Stuck now in an “in the meantime” job like he has been for nearly 2 decades.
Keep Moving Forward
I find myself saying to him:
“You may not be able to change a circumstance but you can change how you react to it.”
“Don’t focus on what you can’t do — focus instead on what you can do.”
It seems like so little for me to offer, but in the face of disappointment — sometimes it is all you have. Keep going. Keep trying. And stay positive about yourself. Not being a good fit — is about them, not you. Selected another candidate, chose someone else, went another way — is about them, not you.
When the rejection slip comes, when the call comes, when the opportunity seems to be slipping away — you just have to keep moving forward. View the moving forward on your own volition as the opportunity.
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