During this Crisis, Some are in Danger in Their Own Homes

With the rise of Covid-19, societie's underbelly of violence affects households and families more. The rise in stress, financial pressure, isolation, and hopelessness leads to a higher rate of domestic violence and domestic abuse incidents. You may not realize someone you know is suffering.

Most of you know I am a domestic abuse survivor. I have been choked, spat upon, locked outside in the snow (in my nightgown), thrown around, manhandled, and called every name in the book. The mental stress and total mental manipulation is a delicate situation that you work and work and work to keep from blowing up in your face. But it doesn’t start out that way.

It starts out as love and understanding, connection and passion, and slowly, drop by drop, your freedoms are removed—so slowly sometimes that you don’t see it happening. Until some day you realize you are in danger and the way out seems impossible. The hold they have on you emotionally is almost impossible to explain. It’s like an addiction. It’s a paralyzing fear of what life will be without them—because you can no longer define yourself without their input or presence. (The abuser makes sure of it.)

I just wanted to express to you how afraid I am for these chaotic families in isolation (due to this pandemic), perhaps losing money and resources—the stakes are high. The stress level goes up and it is like a pressure cooker. My heart is heavy with worry over the rise of domestic crime due to this Coronavirus isolation. The New England Journal of medicine describes it as a "pandemic within a pandemic."

It will get harder for these victims to keep the peace in their home—and I promise you, that is what they are trying to do. Keep the abuser from losing their temper. If you or anyone you know is suffering, please reach out for help.

• Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741)
• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-422-4453)
• National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233)
• Futures Without Violence (visit https://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/resources-events/get-help/. )

Now that I am 15 years OUT of that situation, it’s me looking in on others who I KNOW are suffering. We, as a society need to understand what we can do to help these victims without judging them because these relationships are so complex.

~ Christina M. Ward

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